Sometimes the idea of making something extremely weird outweighs the actual usefulness of the item. Take for instance this fake tongue that you hold in your mouth and use it by fake licking your cat with each stroke of fake tongue sticking out of your mouth.
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Not only does this most likely not work at all in regards to actually washing your cat, but also just makes you look like a complete idiot while using it, so it’s essentially a lose-lose situation.
You have to bite down to hold onto the fake tongue, that’s how it stays in your mouth. To use it simply approach your cat with a the fake tongue in your mouth and ease into a slow licking movement on their back or head while they’re sleeping or in an otherwise pleasant mood.
Since for cats it’s mutually beneficial to be licked, don’t be surprised if they start licking you back… while thinking that you have finally completely lost your mind.